Know what? I'm just gunna leave the motherfuckin house, cause if I stay in this motherfucker, I'm gunna end up fuckin' yo ass up...And I ain't tryin' to motherfuckin go to jail...I'm just going to jump in my motherfuckin shit get on the highway,find me some dro, and get the fuck away from your motherfuckin ass,before I lose my motherfuckin mind.......Bye bitch...Oh shit,What the fuck...the motherfuckin police behind me....Shit

Well Im going back to my Dads today...I cant wait. As soon as I get home...which will be at 7 I get to leave with Amanda ...then we are going to the 9 o clock movie with the kids we are babysitting and her boyfriend, Cody. We are going to see Meet the Fockers which I just saw yesterday but it was so good I have to go see it again I loved it . I get to go see my horsie tomorrow! I miss her!!!! I even miss her being a brat Kinda scary...but yeah thats it for me.

Well not too much is new around here...I got lotza new clothes for x-mas......i got three new belly button rings that are awesome. I have a buncha new clothes from aero tho...all of them are cute. Zachs mom had gotten me a gift certificate and when she wrapped it she put To: Our Daughter From: Love The Dows...... I love them so much. Its awesome having my boyfriends family who loves me so much cuz it makes up for the family I dont have. Ive been thinking about asking my Dad if I can move out...but then again he would pretty much say no...and Zach already told me if I moved in with Victoria then he would break up with me. Its understandable just because of all the guys that go over there all the time I wouldnt want him living with a guy that at his house girls were over there all the time...then I would have a prob too. I get to go home tomorrow...Im going to go babysit with Amanda right when I get home which will be awesome cuz Ill get to leave as soon as I get home and be able to go hang w/ one of my best gurls so Im lookin forward to it. I dont do little kids tho but...Ill be ok...I think. I got the lil jon cd Crunk Juice but I grabbed the censored one on accident...I am so ANGRY!!!!! So if I cant return it Im just gonna burn the damn thing and keep the case and just put my burnt one in it.

Zach was supposed to call me back after he got out of the shower but he pry went over to Kotys house like he was supposed to...he basically lives over there when Im not around. But Im really lookin forward to Friday because in the morning hes supposed to comeover and then we are supposed to go over and see my horse cuz he hasnt seen her yet. I miss her. I got her a new halter w/ leadrope because her leadrope sucked but Im pry just gonna use the lead rope because the halter is a buckle one and I dont think it will work for training her...so Ill use that later after shes learned more. My new song is Lovers and Friends... God Im still so mad my fucking cd is censored yes thats what it is ...asses. Thats about it right now...my fingernails are all chewed off and my fingers are bleeding from withdrawals. It sucks...

Damn Straight...

Know what? I'm just gunna leave the motherfuckin house
cause if I stay in this motherfucker, I'm gunna end up fuckin' yo ass up
And I ain't tryin' to motherfuckin go to jail
I'm just going to jump in my motherfuckin shit get on the highway
find me some dro, and get the fuck away from your motherfuckin ass
before I lose my motherfuckin mind
Bye bitch
Oh shit
What the fuck...the motherfuckin police behind me
Shit

Well its the day after Christmas...and I'm sitting at my Moms...

It sucks sitting here bored just watching tv...I hate being home...I wanna go back to my Dads so I can see my boyfriend and such. I miss that kid a lot when Im up here...and I got until Thursday till I come home but Im not seeing him until Friday. But we will get to have a lot of time to spend together cuz hes coming over in the morning and then at 3:30 his Dad is going to pick us up and we are going to go to his house . We'll pry play in the snow. Lately Ive been wondering...did I get myself in a hole too deep for my own good again? What happens if he breaks up with me? How lost will I be this time?He tells me all the time hes not going to but..theres a pattern...Im not stupid. But when I tell myself that then I ask myself why did I get into it again knowing it would happen? Cant answer that either...

I try not to worry myself but right now Im pmsing so it doesnt help any. When hes grumpy cuz hes tired it usually wont bother me but while Im pmsing and hes grumpy it makes me feel like hes gonna break up with me cuz hes grumpy. I love my baby tho. It must take a lot of heart to keep trying for someone and make them change for you. Well I did it. *To Change Who Someone Is You Have To Destroy The Person They Were...* Its very true..

I need to get my grades back up again...I think Im going to work on that when I come home and school starts again instead of being gone most of the time. I cant wait till Victoria n Megs get home tho. I think Im doing something with Amanda Thursday night...so that will be fun we'll figure something out to do.

Thats bout it for now...

Well...long time no see ...actually I dont come on here cuz Im always doing something. But nothing much has changed Tara had an asthmae attack tonight... ...but me n Zach are doin jus fine ...well not too much is going on me n Megs r talkin to fat well thats about it for now we're gonna watch a movie...buhbye!

What YoU GoN' Do?!?! *SHIT*

Rae Rae

When I Look Into Your Eyes...Its The Only Place That Can Make My Heart Melt...In Your Eyes You Can See All The Pain Ive Felt...Why Is It In Your Eyes Your The Only One Who Can See Clearly Through Me? But Sometimes I Still Wonder, Was It Really Meant To Be Us...Just You And Me???

Leaves crunch as the same girl passes by...Everynight at 11:11 she appears to be shy. With long black flowing hair and a gray dress...who is this person she comes to miss? Some say she comes for her lost lover...others say she comes to visit her younger brother. The cold rain starts to pour...but her pale face says that it doesnt matter anymore. Dried rose petals fall from her hand onto the grave...Whos life was this she wishes she could have saved? A tear falls from her eye...as she kisses the gravestone goodbye. Drops of blood slowly fall from her wrists after her goodbye kiss...As she turns to leave, softly her hair sways, as the color of love slowly fades to other shades. Through the back she slips away...just ending her nightly visit...just like every other night.

Do Not Wonder About Me...Let Me Be How I Was Meant To Be. Judgements Are Made Everyday, Every Corner, Every turn... Not just on one person, but on every person. I Dont Care What You Have To Say, Why Cant You Just Go Away?I Dont Care About What You Have To Say, I Have My Own Ways. The Only Thing I Do Care About Is How You Were My Bestfriend...But Also My Best Back Stabber.

Yes I did Write These...